Last week, I was invited to go wedding dress shopping with my future sister-in-law. It’s been a while since I have sat on the sidelines for this process since I worked in the bridal shop for so many years. This trip was extra special because this lovely person is marrying my brother. I obviously wanted her to find something she loved, but also knew that it wasn’t my turn to find it; I had to leave that up to her consultants.
It’s hard to relinquish control. I notice every day that I need to do this more often, whether it’s because my house is a disaster from the kids or I am just being too nit-picky about things with my husband. So I had mentally prepared myself for this shopping trip. I knew I would be looked at for an opinion as one of her guests in those chairs, but it was a totally different opinion than what I usually give, because now I’m biased. This is someone who I know! I want her to get the dress that she loves and it should be everything she dreams, but it wasn’t my job to make that happen.
As the appointment went on, I wasn’t able to let go of my bridal consultant ways, they are ingrained in me. But I was able to let someone else take the lead as I sat on the sidelines. And, I learned that when you sit in those chairs while this woman you know is making this important decision, that the emotions of the event are so real, that you really feel this need to guide her and to let her love what she loves. Our group had laughs and ‘hmm’s’ and tears, which are found at nearly every appointment. I was so honored to be on the other side of the shopping trip, because it helped me to get back to a more authentic place.